Tears Taste Awesome


To deny herself the pain of missing him was like denying her the privilege of getting up and facing each new day with misery. She wondered what had transpired. When did the positions got swapped and when she got to be on the other side of the court in this relationship?

Frivolous thoughts crossed her mind. Of checking his old text messages and the several old voice messages on the answering machine. There was again a struggle to find a tone that assured her he was pining for her as well. The fake self-assurance and the burden of her forgiving attitude was driving her towards finding a new level in the courtship. She knew that this has been cruel to her and him. To find a comforting voice or a calm assurance was the sole motive left. Love indeed does strange things to you. It might make you happy but with it, it brings a whole new set of illogical arguments that gets you to support any idea or thought that will make you feel assured that the other person is an equal stakeholder as well. It makes you calculate fake assumptions that the other person knows you as much you want him to know you. This is where the expectation nudged in.

Expectations and calculated assumptions tethered the sanctity of their relationship on the public front. On the personal front, it had reached the status of ‘taken for granted’. The over confidence of not ever losing touch and keeping the flame alive was stamped with a degree of surmountable trust. They had reached a point where they knew what words were coming out of each other’s lips and what thoughts crossed each other’s mind. The predictability had created rough edges around their daily communication. This is where the void peeped in.

Emptiness was always there. But this time it was different. It was sonorous and pricked their hope of making things work like the last time. He knew that the status quo of hope was a banality that any long term distance guaranteed to its holders. He had spent many dull evenings being carefully careless to avoid another mock confrontation of saying a vacuum laminated I love you. She had also felt her stone eyes devoid of any more emotions. The tethering was a continuum for him as it brought stability to his severely routined life. The tethering was a continuum for her as it occasionally brought tears to her stoned eyes.

This is where the commitment swayed in.

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Currently listening to Tera Bina Zindagi Se Koi Shikwa To Nahi (Aandhi)

 Story title is as per Fubar69’s 100 blog topics. (Topic #31)

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84 thoughts on “Tears Taste Awesome

  1. “Tears Taste Awesome”. The title is a one complete story in itself. Made for a perfect Sunday evening read. Even though all love stories are coiled around the same space yet they are much more potent to be unpredictable than any of the science fictions. Like all other things in life, a relationship reaches an apex and then dips. While on the uphill, a fear is always there which takes the form of reality some day or the other. A chill runs through my spine when I think of that moment. Had I not screwed it up that day, had she known that the devil of miscommunication would create a distance of the magnitude of light years; it would have been a different story. I wouldn’t have been stranded in a position where I still hope against the extreme of hopes. The part about reading previous messages was the best one for me. This is one activity that motivates me to get up and try giving my best in everything I do. No matter how big one makes in life but a relationship that has taught you life and more importantly you have respect for, remains one’s biggest possession. As said in A beautiful mind, “It is only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found”. Dig back deep into it and it is a source of answering many of your questions about life.

    Don’t know if the comment was relevant at all but the story definitely touched the emotions. Very well written, like always.

    Respect for all meaningful relationships.

    Regards,

    Kahlon

    • Dear Kahlon,

      Thank you for leaving such brilliant comments time and again.

      A relationship even though how charred/broken/bitter may be teaches us something and shapes a major part of our personality. How we don’t let communication gaps win is iour responsibility. It takes efforts and transparent discussions to clear our heads. Above all, a genuine heart felt ‘I Love You’ solves most of the problems.

      Loved the line, “It is only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found”. Blatantly true and spot on.

      Your comment is a brilliant post in itself. I feel so honored to have such brilliant readers.

      Warm Regards,
      MD

      • My comment as a post is quite a compliment for me. So, thanks. I’m always happy being a good reader and an observer. Rightly said about not letting communication gaps win. Also, out of all the positives that come out of a broken relationship the most dominant is fearlessness. One doesn’t fear anything in life after losing what was valued the most.

        Your writings are always brilliant. Expression is the best part. And with ones such as this you can always relate to in some form or the other.

        Lucky to come across this webpage. Keep writing!

        • Thank you K for the comment and for subsribing to this blog. As I have mentioned before, such heartfelt genuine comments are fodder for me my mind. They keep me motivated to write even better.

          Keep visiting. I cherish readers like you. Bless you.

  2. Hi Mehak – I have been reading your blog for some time and I will start off by giving you a thumbs up for writing so beautifully.

    This post makes me think; especially your last line ~ “This is where the commitment swayed in” – I am not sure if this is the right summation. I do not understand the commitment to what?

    You said – “The predictability had created rough edges around their daily communication. This is where the void peeped in”. If they are so close that they can read eyes, then how can a void slip in? There has to be some communication; verbal or otherwise but there has to be something or else they did not understand each other well. If they were so good in understanding each other, how come they did not see/read/hear the void?

    Then you say – “The tethering was a continuum for her as it occasionally brought tears to her stoned eyes.”. Is this person pessimistic? I do not understand a person who would seek continuum to tears and not work towards saving a relationship that you describe as so trustworthy that words are not needed.

    I do not know if this is inspired from someone’s life or is a fiction of your mind; but I do not see co-relation in it. Either ways, I will hope that this is true and someone may not have to go though this.

    • Hi Kapil,

      Many thanks for the compliment and following this blog.

      ‘This is where the commitment swayed in’. This is the ideal summation for me. The story is not about an average lovey-dovey couple. The story is about a couple who has been in a relation for a fairly long time. They have graduated from being friends to best friends and to soul-mates. Any relationship how far perfect it may be goes through rocky road. Their relationship is going through that road. They have communication gaps and are busy in their own lives; yet not breaking apart because it is the undying love and ‘commitment’ that keeps swaying in. If it hadn’t swayed in they would have had a break up and I wouldn’t have written this story. Their commitment to each other is the most beautiful part of the story.

      Yes, they are very close. They can read each other’s gestures and eyes. But void has peeped in because they are hardly interacting anymore. There is a sudden gap which is just a phase. If you are good in understanding doesn’t means that you are a perfect couple communicating with each other 24×7. It is the rocky road that cements a good relationship. Troubling times test the patience and bring two people even closer.

      No, this person is not pessimistic. Crying is not a sign of negativity. It is a sign of finding your courage back. I feel sad that you can’t understand this yet. A person emerges well sorted and stronger after shedding tears. She sheds tears because she loves him deeply and misses him. She is not cursing him for anything because she knows that he too is in love with her and this is just a phase where distance has drifted them apart for a while.

      Please do not try to find any co-relation here. This is a figment of my mind’s imagination while weaving some real-life incidents as written in the disclaimer.
      Thank you for sharing your musings.

      Cheers,
      M

      • Reading your reply, I have to admit that it is how one handles/deals with life situations. Emotions have their own way of tending to and people find ways of how they work for them.

        “I feel sad that you can’t understand this yet.” ~ Please do not be; because for me strength comes not from my tears but from my will not to cry and deal with the situation head-on. We are different people and have our ways of dealing with life.

        And, once again Kudos for the reply. I guess a lot of the story now makes more sense based on what explained in the reply. I hope as i read more of your stories, i may understand better how you frame these.

        • I agree with you. We all have our idiosyncratic ways of dealing with emotions in life.

          I am glad the story made sense to you after reading my reply. Look forward to receiving your comments on the previous work and future posts as well.

          Cheers,
          M

  3. I dont know how one can express oneself so beautifully. Stellar post. Its hard to imagine the pain, the void and the disbelief without experiencing any of these things first hand. When I read this post, I kept on trying to relate this back to the failed relations I have been in and the ones I have witnessed. Some things are not as obvious as they seem, even to the most experienced of us. Tears must taste awesome.

    • First of all, loved this –> OoO.
      Loved your comment. Relationships will continue to baffle us. We might stand outside the line and judge others unknowingly that one day we too will be on the other side of the line some day.
      Tears taste awesome. Indeed.

  4. We know who we are and yet we define ourselves everyday. Basically we are nothing more than references to the people we have loved and hated.

    (I got my internet back and line above is not completely mine)

  5. I have always felt wiser to stay away from relationships. :) The fear of hurting someone overshadows that of getting involved. And to value and stick to a “commitment” is an uphill task. Seems impossible at times. Kudos to people in love.

    I loved the first line. Your begin your blogs really well. And the comments!! One has to wait for eternity to reach the comment-box. Someone’s getting really famous!

    • You are right in every way in your first paragraph here. But tell you what, love happens. It may bring all sorts of crazy issues with it but along with few little sad moments it brings a calm stability in life. Give love a chance!

      Thank you for the beautiful comment. Hahaha yes, I have been advised by @TheSolutionBaba to hire a secretary. you guys indulge me in such massive ego tickles. Thank you and keep visiting this space Pushkar. Cheers.

  6. Honestly, Relationships are a little complicated. You get attracted, you want to be with each other all the time then comes a point where there’s nothing to explore and nothing to find. Monotony kills love and thats how it is. You start looking for faults and you worry about the attention you previously enjoyed and eventually you break free. Some survive with bitterness others cope by getting into another relationship and the cycle never ends. Howcome true love isn’t a one stop end? We tell ourselves its true love everytime we get into a relationship and then we bite our words. I don’t advise this to you or anyone but what I do is I keep away from it. I keep my life simple and free of conflict. I don’t think I escape from things I think I keep things simple and sane.

    • You said it. ‘Monotony kills love.’ There is a constant comparison between how things were and how they turn out to be.
      I may not be able to keep a distance from true love or falling in love. But where I agree with you is the fact that I love to keep my life simple and free of conflict. When I think something is bothering me or meddling with my simple routined life, I take it out of my life. May be I am scared of getting back to dark realms of depression circle all over again. But I love my life simple and as you said sane.

      I loved your comment and oh why, I knew you will have quite a perspective. Thank you A. Cheers.

  7. BRILLIANTLY written. Your emotions and feelings have been so sharply articulated. The mesmerizing way in which you have driven the point home is simply remarkable and most certainly, deserves a mention. This is actually the first time that I get to read a different line of work of yours. And I’m just glad I did!!

    Great going, hoping too see more of such brilliance! :)
    Ashwin

  8. MD, you know you’ve brought a quite a lot of us to a nostalgic point with this blog of yours. May be some on the good side and some on the bad side as well and I sure most of us would share this story and might have hit our heart and mind – that hey this is exactly my story. I don’t know for how many does the commitment sways in, well if does then nothing more like it.

    As the cliche goes, last but at least not the least – You have some nice choice of words and the write up is near perfect for ME ;) Kudos and Cheers. Keep Writing.

    • Thank you SV. I am glad my story made you and others feel like that. A writer’s job is done when you feel his/her words to be surreal. Keep visiting this space. I look forward to read your brilliant comments.

  9. ” It makes you calculate fake assumptions that the other person knows you as much you want him to know you. ”
    Very very very very very true! *claps*
    Wish I could tell you in hugs how much I loved this post of yours.
    You totally know a girl’s mind upside down.

    Keep writing, loooots of love to you <3.

    • Thank you doll. Your comment just brought a calm smile on my face. Lots of love to you too. Keep visiting this space and keep making me smile with these comments.

  10. Expectations!!!
    The way you have depicted this through your post is just awesome…

    I just want to say ” I wish i can write like you”

    Waiting for other posts!!! :)

  11. This line – “saying a vacuum laminated I love you” is simply brilliant!
    Mahak you have a knack for penning complex emotions in a style that is distinctly yours.
    I bow to thee and look forward to future posts.

  12. It was almost as if you spent a short vacation in my mind. If there is a post I can relate with, it is this.

    Great story, M. Nothing more I can say. Great work.

  13. to avoid another mock confrontation of saying a vacuum laminated I love you – wow – very very nicely written.

    It does happen….but I haven’t seen it being so beautifully written as you have done, especially towards the last few lines

    Kudos!
    R

    • Aah thank you R. You do know how to bring a smile to my face. I will always cherish this comment. I am so flattered.
      Awesome is now your middle name.

  14. This is what i am going thru right now in my life!
    Its great to see such a pure & straight forward description of it..
    ‘Vacuum Laminated’ ILU’s & Ever so increasing expectations is the worst combo to be have happened!!
    SPEECH-LESS!
    Amazing work. keep it up!

    • Thank you Panku. I have always that if we invest and devote enough time towards a relationship and talk it will be an eternal relationship. But the sad part is we all know this fact and yet we fail to invest.

      I am glad you could relate to the story. Keep visiting this space.

  15. I don’t know much about relationships but i guess it has something to do with human nature. When people say they are in love, more often than not, time kicks in. The belief that love can provide security and will stay the same, releasing the same amount of endorphin in each other’s brains for eternity, starts playing its awkward part. Maybe, that’s when doubts and continuum takes birth. Or maybe not. Whatever it is, it kills time – the very catalyst that started the whole thing!

    I must reiterate that your choice of word rocks… conveys best. Keep up the good work. Keep writing. :)

    • Thank you Anna. You said it and said it how! Time is the element and the catalyst.
      Your words encourage me to write better and even better.
      Gracias.a

  16. The entrust on you

    for much, for things I should have–

    could have–done myself.

    #Haiku for this post..

    when you are in love its one of the best thing to happen, and when the same love fades away its the worst thing to happen . Hope we all find that true love to be with us forever.

    • Aah thank you N. Lovely haiku.

      Yeah amen to this thought. Also hope love brings the patience to cope up with the various problems that may hamper the true love from nurturing.

  17. Hi Mehak. Again loved your post. And again you expressed emotions and feelings in a way no one ever can.

    And yes, again I could relate myself to your post. This is really common, however people dont realize gaps coming in until they become miles apart and then it takes a while to get back, if they do so!!

    S

  18. Hi Mehak. Again loved your post. And again you expressed emotions and feelings in a way no one ever can.

    And yes, again I could relate myself to your post.

  19. Loved it. Very well written. Well thought. And deep and full of meaning. Some lines just hit home hard. “The over confidence of not ever losing touch and keeping the flame alive was stamped with a degree of surmountable trust… This is where the void peeped in” is something I can relate to; but no one could put it any better.
    Well written post, which explores a woman’s point of view in this situation without compromising the literary genius you are. MIRABILIS

    • Aah thank you Pat. Coming from you it means a lot because I know about your relationship status. Good to hear you could relate to the post. Cheers.

  20. I could really relate to the part where you describe how “predictability had created rough edges around their daily communication” because they took each other for granted. As a writer, this is your victory. :) Good job.

    • Why, thank you so much. Such a beautiful comment. My ego just got tickled. Thank you for visiting this space and leaving such an inspirational comment.

  21. vacuum laminated i love you’s. Thats what relationships end up being when taken for granted. When the predictability creeps in. When the flame dies. I dont understand the point of some relationships. Its all beautiful in the beginning and then when i see couples breaking up i wonder why. All they say is we were never meant for each other. Well did you not realise that before you decided to commit to each other. Strange right

    • ‘May be we are not meant for each other’ is a cowardly excuse perhaps to run away from the relationship.

      Beautiful comment. Beutiful name – Nishali. Thank you for visiting this space.

  22. Good one, M!! Good to see the other side of the coin,too..being a guy,I’ve always only seen my side of the coin and now I got to see what the girl in the relationship feels like….

    Also,if there is a void in the relationship,it is best to end it rather than just being in it for the relationship’s and peoples sake….let’s hope “him” and “her” find eternal love and live happily ever after…

    Hope my comments were of any use to you.keep up the amazing work!!!

    • Thank you R. Any comment that one gets on the blog is helpful. Inspiration keeps an artist going. I agree with you one should not be in a relationship for people’s sake. Hope all the ‘him’ and ‘her’ find eternal love. Amen.
      Keep visiting this space. Cheers.

  23. Portrayal.. That what it is, that what you do best.. I hope the things get better for ‘her’, pain in the relationship is more pain in the a** than separation..
    Said that, coz we all like Happys Endings.. :)
    Kudos, yet again!
    P

    • Thanks P. Well said. Painful relationship is worse than any physical pain. It ruins our image and what we truly are. Your constant support keeps me going. You are the bestest. Cheers.

  24. “He knew that the status quo of hope was a banality that any long term distance guaranteed to its holders.” Wow loved this line… great post. Kudos Mehek.

    • Thank you Shoumik. Your encouraging comments keep me going. I assure you every comment of yours keeps me feeling proud of whatever iota of talent I have.

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