Learning it the hard way


It is astonishing how your closest friends will say the most acerbic statements to you in a spur of a moment and won’t even feel sorry. Your kind soul might give them a benefit of doubt by blaming stressful life, PMS or just being a temporary bit**.

Under the cloak of jest, friendship is often abused. I have been at the receiving end of it just because *takes a moment for this* – I am unemployed. I, like my girl community over think the statement again and again. I have realised that in the past I must have also uttered inanities to my friends as well. I can actually recall two incidents where I was consciously being a bit**. I apologised to one of them by picking the phone once I reached home and saying  sorry. The other one, I never got around saying sorry.

Now why I end up being bruised by these statements:

1. I tend to do a LOT for friends whom I consider family. Specially when you are living abroad you need to have a close set of friends else it gets severely depressing.

2. Number 1 leads to high expectations.

3. I avoid conflicts. I hate loud fights. I hate when people in a spur of a moment forget their limitations.

4. I mostly smile when some inanity is reflected towards me rather than answering back owing to our relationship history or seniority (if the said friend is senior to me).

Four recent incidents have made me write this post. I have been continuously over thinking why these  people behaved in the way they did. I am not going to confront these people – not because I am a coward (the direct term used by one of them who was hell bent on shoving their morality down my throat).

I have been subjected to constant jibes, raised voices and verbal abuse while growing up. I know there is no point in yelling back. You only projectile the dirt back onto yourself. I learnt this the hard way in 2007. I am a totally different person ever since that year.

What I have decided to adopt is this:

Learning it the hard way. But the good news is I am learning.

Learning it the hard way. But the good news is I am learning.

1. If your so called close friend or even a family member is continuously taking jibes at you or is ignorantly causing you grief, best is to stay away from them.

2. Focus on cultivating your passion. If you don’t have a passion, focus on finding what drives you.

3. Promise yourself to emerge as a better person, to not being a pushover, to focus more on life’s goal.

I realized one of my life long goals in 2012. I am now going to focus on the next two goals – one personal and one professional. 

4. Being successful is the only quality that earns you respect. No matter how nice you are, being kind is a cheap quality these days it seems.

I am sad at the same time to give in to the hardcore materialistic way of life. But I got to change with time before I am crushed to dust. And to people who drag you down because you are unemployed – please eff off.  It takes guts to quit an amazing job to focus on yourself.

To my detractors, I will only rise from now on. Don’t want anymore of your fake friendship or cynicism or banal advice.

Forgiveness will always be a long process where the inanity behind it might be caused in a spur of a moment.

Chapter of Life


 

Scene 1

A young 14 year old girl is hooked onto TV watching Shahrukh Khan selling almost everything on TV. Her cell beeps and she reads the SMS and laughs at the non veg joke (explicit content suppressed). She calls back the sender and chats for one hour repeatedly repeating the phrase- ‘aur batao’ (tell me more). The talk gets over after saying bye bye take care for umpteenth number of times and blowing kisses with the sound of Muuuaaahhhhh. The words angel, baby, honey, jaanu, sweetz dominate the whole call and sound like a refrain from a soft romantic ballad. The call finishes and the girl looks at the TV once again wherein SRK again is cheering his boys in the IPL arena of glamour cricket (where everything is a BRAND).

 

Scene 2

The young 14 year old girl goes to her room and slips into her Nike PJ and plugs onto her iPOD listening to High School Musical 2 OST and glares at the larger than life posters plastered on her wall. She opens her lappy logs onto Facebook and sends a cool new poster on Super wall to all her 209 friends in her network. She smiles at the new Superlatives given to her by her boyfriend. She sees him online at the moment on Gtalk with the rad status message –‘Nobody dies a virgin life f**** you in many ways’. She tells him the message is so cool and then again the repeated act of bye byes and take care begins now armed with emoticons.

 

Scene 3

The young 14 year old girl gets up in the morning picks her Pepe Jeans London bag and wears her Nike shoes and shoves up the Nokia N72 in the inside pocket of the bag and runs for the car. The chauffeur opens the door and she sits insides throwing her bag and grabbing the remote. She reaches school and kisses her friends and yells- ‘hey how you doin’, ‘wassup mate’.

 

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Scene 1

A young 14 year old girl is hooked onto cleaning the dining table hearing Sahrukh Khan (sic). She sings ‘Jaanam Dekh Lo mit gai duriyaa main yahaan hu……..yaha’. She hears a shrill voice from the other room and hears a faint voice to bring ice cream for her. She quickly leaves the table and prepares big bowl of ice cream and pours chocolate syrup at the top and resists the saliva on her tongue to grab a big spoonful of the delight in front of her misty eyes. She takes a bite from the melting drop from the rim of the bowl and closes her eyes for a second.

 

Scene 2

The young 14 year old girl goes to the kitchen and lies on the mattress and switches on the FM listening to new Himesh Rehammiya number and glares at the roof while imagining her in the song. She gets up and looks herself in the mirror. She looks at her long never ending braid and the weird curve in the end where her rubber band was tied. She opened it and moved her fingers through her hair and started singing ‘Jhooth Naiyo Bolna’. She smiles at her little jig and goes back to the mattress fully conscious of the fact that she had to get up early next morning to iron the uniform and make the breakfast.

 

Scene 3

The young 14 year old girl gets up at the shrill voice of the pretentious Mrs. Kapoor and runs to the kitchen. She switches on the swanky LG Cooking range and heads for the Nirlep non stick pan to cook breakfast. She runs for the car. The chauffeur opens the door and she gives the lunch box to the young 14 year old girl. She curses her and annoyingly takes it and starts fiddling with the remote control. The young 14 year old girl goes to the market to get groceries and meets her other likes. She smiles and yells- ‘Hello didi I am going to my gaon (village) for diwali ’.

 

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We could be either of the two girls- but we would always wish to be the former girl not the latter-but they are both happy and content. But-Life is not equal. It’s different for you, me and others. Some are blessed with more some are blessed with few.  Life is beautiful. It’s a one time encounter for you, me and others. Some live it to the fullest and some keep cursing and ruin the beauty of it. Life gives moments to smile, to cry, to laugh, to curse, to swear, to enjoy- what do we give back to the life? We know and meet several people who are in much sad situations than ours-still our life seems more complex. I have seen little boys in rural areas enjoying the dip in the rivulets sporting a big grin on their face and there sometimes I am cursing if there’s a power shortage in the summers. May be we need to learn how to live from them. I learnt a lesson from life and this is just a Chapter of Life. There may be many more, from all people who walk into my life and thoughts from all spheres of world.

Out of the nest


She was single but not alone
Few broken pieces and some sores to go
She could have cried some more
But the tears were dry
She knew it all but she always denied

Away from home it was a jading walk
She was scared and bitter
And she was lost
Though past was over it kept tagging along
She didnt knew any sense of right or wrong

The lights were out and so were her eyes
The limbs were paining of exercise
The mind was tired and so was her heart
But she knew she had to walk and do her best
As she knew she was now- out of the nest
~*~

 

Journey


The uphill was tough,
The downhill jading,
Leftoff was sounding festinating
I looked back
I looked ahead
Appealed to me all bedevilling
The path was young
The terminus mystic
Invited me for an eventful enduring
The people were great
The memories idyllic
What a beautiful journey life has been