Dowry laws -boon or bane?


How often do we see News Channels flashing cover stories on dowry and harassment by in laws on young brides? They show the mental and physical pains inflicted on their mind and bodies. News channels in the recent past have glorified the acts of Nisha Sharmas and wannabe Nisha Sharmas. The TV Channels ensure that the lives of in laws are turned into hell which is good for the monsters.

My post here doesn’t endorse dowry or laws supporting them. My post deals with the other cheek of this monstrous face of civil laws. I have seen so many happy and closely knitted families getting ruined under the wake of dowry harassment. Young brides come up with pre decided mind to the joint families or closely knitted nuclear families and from day one try to make their mark in all audacious manners.They want to live life on their own terms. They have little patience, almost no resilience and no feelings for the essence of togetherness. Modern age brides think they are working and they are at par with the male counterpart. They emotionally blackmail the in laws and sometimes the husband to get separated and buy new house. They religiously preach the concept of DINK (double income no kids).And when the poor parents and emotional husband denies –they come up with the ultimate ultimatum (forgive the alliteration) –DO AS I SAY ELSE I’LL GO TO POLICE!! 😦

This emotionally drains the parents. They welcome the bride with great pomp and show and within few months she shows her ugly side and squeezes them. The parents and the son can’t even do anything as they are scared of police coz there’s a non bailable warrant if she reports. The worst is when the girl is supported by her parents. I really don’t know what is in her parents mind when they support her. Gone are the days when girls parents were always hospitable and told daughters –‘never a complain should come from your new home’. And now they wait for an opportunity and give warnings of police. Nowadays they are not lesser than the local goons.

But who wins in the end-no one? The husband gets emotionally separated from the parents and becomes a sandwich between the bride and parents. He remembers his mom’s food and dad’s suggestions. The parents sulk in night longing for the son and cursing them for the day they got their little prince married. The girl keeps pestering others ruining a new family.

Why our civil laws don’t take this into notice-why are they so women oriented? I agree harassment by girls is not that glorious incident as dowry but still –isn’t family development also the responsibility? Why an innocent family has to bear the brunt of it? Why do they have to live in constant fear of the demon bahu (daughter in law)? There happy home is broken by her, there dreams squashed and their hopes killed.

Girls are not having patience these days. They don’t realize there first job is of homemaking not breaking. I know it takes two to tango but when the parent in laws equally love why do they do such monstrous things to them? If it happens I am sure there will be lesser need for Old Age homes or nannies to take care of their little ones. Little kids dote on their grandparents and grandparents too shower love and teach so much to the kids. They won’t delay there conceptions till the time they can take out time to have babies. There will be no need for IVFs or stress related problems. Staying together is great and the support is tremendous.

I just hope we all find a solution to this soon. What do you think? I know there will be many opinions contradicting mine that is why I want more brain storming over this! Hope to have one! 🙂

6 thoughts on “Dowry laws -boon or bane?

  1. I believe that when a women gets married she is required to fulfil expectations of all in laws and has to mould herself as per their traditions which may be drastically different then her own family traditions apart from this it is not one sided affair if a women finds it difficult to adjust with a family the family also keeps suspecting the newly entitled member ,her every moment is judged in many case suspected ,it takes a while to completely settle and accept her as a part of family .I truly believe that where there is dowry demand ,their no matter who is at fault the in-laws should be punished because 1.They put terms and condition for marraige thus proving the voidness in their heart for welcoming their new daughter-in-law 2.They are greedy for expanding their wealth in the name of marraige 3.Since they sell their son,the girl and her family has the right to punish him for any reason 4.Such strict actions should be taken to completely eradicate dowry system from our culture .

  2. Pingback: A woman named Pushpa « Mind flirting with thoughts

  3. @ Yaake- yes you’re right. But it has been happening in case of love marriage also. Believe me I have closely observed it. You can say I have been an eye witness of this trauma. It can happen to anybody. I felt same like you earlier but then -it happened to us. And we fell prey to this monstrous social evil.
    fruity

  4. When it comes to marriage, I always adhere to the philosophy that women aren’t objects to be shown around to every eligible guy and “arranged” to be married off… There has to be love between the two people. Most women, who’ve been married off through an arrangement, generally aren’t satisfied with their husbands… I say most, but not all… Some women actually try and fit in… The ones who aren’t satisfied are the ones who create all this trouble…
    There has to be love between the 2 to get married and last for a long time… Otherwise, marriage is just another social gathering, where we try to show off our wealth and create good impression with our relatives…🙂
    http://mirrorcracked.wordpress.com

Liked or disliked what you read? Leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s