I want so many things badly and the world is conspiring against me having them. It happens to me on a regular interval- this phase strikes me. A phase where I have bad mood swings, I do not feel anything positive around me and everything depresses me. I feel lonely in crowd. I get silent when everybody’s talking. I deal with my own escapades to a far world. The mind constantly thinks harder and the veins dilate till the cranium.
The talks sound like a background score and I have my talks going on in my mind. I am with my own self. I discuss my own thoughts- defend them and speak against them right there in my mind. The sonorous mind aches too but still the discussion keeps emerging stronger till I am perturbed by someone -‘hey what happened to you? why are you so quiet?‘.
I really do not know what to answer as I am already upset over the untimely abortion of new ideas. I smile and say- ‘nothing-I am fine‘. I long to go back to my flirting session but the real life objects keep pulling me back. They don’t let me escape to nurture my thoughts. They conspire together to kill them at the nascent stage. I retaliate and try to cocoon myself.
The mind flirts and keeps puking on paper-posts after posts. But I am not seeking any cure for it-I enjoy its puking. It lessens the burden of all flirted amalgamated idea off it. The load feels lighter and encourages me to go back to the real life objects.