This topic has been flirting with my mind’s nerves since two months and complaining against my ignorance to it like a little puppy..Finally here I am penning oops typing my thoughts over this subject…..
India is embracing globalization just like how a newly purchased dress is adorned by a girl with panache and pride. Families are sending their kids to study abroad in wake of increasing competition, reservation systems and less number of colleges. The families bear a proud grin on the face whilst telling the neighbours or the overtly closed extended family members that their son/daughter is studying in US/UK/Australia. They get excited at the prospect of receiving ISD calls and being net savvy courtesy regular video chat sessions on Skype/Yahoo/MSN. Its not only education thats taking youths abroad…now its the MNCs, the jobs, the software hubs, the research and development tasks that are taking people to beautiful locales of Swiss alps, Gondola ridden Dutch land, adventorous Oz or the fashion capitals of Milan, Rome, London or New York. Right now all my friends are currently abroad-either sudying or working.
One common thing which mothers especially keep telling their sons before boarding the airplane and asking for liquor from the sexy European airhostess is – ”’Gori se shaadi karne ka mat sochna‘. My mother also told me very strictly when I told her I wanted to pursue my masters from abroad – ‘Studies are fine and so is job, but don’t ever be friendly with a foreigner.’ Her fears were relaxed by my unexpected wedding to a Kiwi based Indian….. and how happy she was (is).
I really don’t understand the idea behind this. They say the cultural difference is gonna be huge and there is no security in the wedding as foreigners are known for their records…… I say the case is increasing in Indian society as well. Divorce rates are increasing and so are separation rates. Couples are not happy and continuing to live a farce for the sake of family honour. Love is no longer there but family pride prevails at full vigour….then why bugle the cross cultural and global funda????? My take is if we Indians are global enough to adorn the foreign brands and ready to send oour kids abroad for finer education then why not also accept their love interests and give them blessings? When parents get prepared enough to send them at tender age of 17 or 18 why also they are not prepared enough to understand they are youths and will definitely fall in love……why do they forget the concept of ‘Vashudev Kutumbakam‘ (whole world is one common family).
Well anyways I know my perspective has no relevance in wake of people who are even against inter caste/religion weddings. A few of my close friends are battling out with their parents because either the guy is from some other castes (but a hindu) or simply because he/she is of upper or lower caste. They have decided to forget their love and move ahead in life forgetting all the chemistry they ever had and ready to tie the knot with some girl/boy met randomly through an online matrimonial site. Is that fair- taking life’s primal decision based on some horoscopes and 36 guns(traits)??? Is is fair to make two strangers fall deliberately in love and act in front of thousands of people when their heart still aches for the ones they loved? I was damn scared about telling my dad about my husband as he too is from different religion….I never knew how would dad react to this? And he did -he didn’t sleep for nights….but he was always open at the option of meeting him and then taking any decision..he met him,liked him and gave his blessings….
Still there are families who won’t even consider the option………they don’t even wanna hear the name……I know girls who are getting married late in exchange of good dowry just because their parents couldn’t find good match in the community….I know girls who ultimately get married to different communities simply because their parents couldn’t find a good match in the same community (the same parents who brag of not marrying their daughters outside caste and twitched their noses to my parents because they did!!!!!!)
I don’t know how things will change or simply enough do we Indians actually want it to change or are e happy being ignorant enough of this fact….the parents keep searching a girl for their son while the son stays in a live -in relationship with a foreigner and pretends to care to look at the regular photographs of Indian girls he receives in his email……he sometimes even selects a desi girl and gives a fake date toooo never to return to India..while the girl’ family bugles the deal they have got in getting an NRI damaad(son-in law)..
All the incidents or instances mentioned above are true cases..no names or fake names have been incorporated in order to maintain the privacy of the concerned people.You’re welcome to add your thoughts in the comments and also share incidents that you’re aware of.