Global hub but not hubby


This topic has been flirting with my mind’s nerves since two months and complaining against my ignorance to it like a little puppy..Finally here I am penning oops ;) typing my thoughts over this subject…..

Cross cultural wedding

Cross cultural wedding

India is embracing globalization just like how a newly purchased dress is adorned by a girl with panache and pride. Families are sending their kids to study abroad in wake of increasing competition, reservation systems and less number of colleges. The families bear a proud grin on the face whilst telling the neighbours or the overtly closed extended family members that their son/daughter is studying in US/UK/Australia. They get excited at the prospect of receiving ISD calls and being net savvy courtesy regular video chat sessions on Skype/Yahoo/MSN.  Its not only education thats taking youths abroad…now its the MNCs, the jobs, the software hubs, the research and development tasks that are taking people to beautiful locales of Swiss alps, Gondola ridden Dutch land, adventorous Oz or the fashion capitals of Milan, Rome, London or New York. Right now all my friends are currently abroad-either sudying or working.

One common thing which mothers especially keep telling their sons before boarding the airplane and asking for liquor from the sexy European airhostess is – ”’Gori se shaadi karne ka mat sochna‘. My mother also told me very strictly when I told her I wanted to pursue my masters from abroad – ‘Studies are fine and so is job, but don’t ever be friendly with a foreigner.’ Her fears were relaxed by my unexpected wedding to a Kiwi based Indian….. and how happy she was (is).

I really don’t understand the idea behind this. They say the cultural difference is gonna be huge and there is no security in the wedding as foreigners are known for their records…… :D I say the case is increasing in Indian society as well. Divorce rates are increasing and so are separation rates. Couples are not happy and continuing to live a farce for the sake of family honour. Love is no longer there but family pride prevails at full vigour….then why bugle the cross cultural and global funda????? My take is if we Indians are global enough to adorn the foreign brands and ready to send oour kids abroad for finer education then why not also accept their love interests and give them blessings? When parents get prepared enough  to send them at tender age of 17 or 18 why also they are not prepared enough to understand they are youths and will definitely fall in love……why do they forget the concept of ‘Vashudev Kutumbakam‘ (whole world is one common family).

Well anyways I know my perspective has no relevance in wake of people who are even against inter caste/religion weddings. A few of my close friends are battling out with their parents because either the guy is from some other castes (but a hindu) or simply because he/she is of upper or lower caste. They have decided to forget their love and move ahead in life forgetting all the chemistry they ever had and ready to tie the knot with some girl/boy met randomly through an online matrimonial site. Is that fair- taking life’s primal decision based on some horoscopes and 36 guns(traits)??? Is is fair to make two strangers fall deliberately in love and act in front of thousands of people when their heart still aches for the ones they loved? I was damn scared about telling my dad about my husband as he too is from different religion….I never knew how would dad react to this? And he did -he didn’t sleep for nights….but he was always open at the option of meeting him and then taking any decision..he met him,liked him and gave his blessings….

Still there are families who won’t even consider the option………they don’t even wanna hear the name……I know girls who are getting married late in exchange of good dowry just because their parents couldn’t find good match in the community….I know girls who ultimately get married to different communities simply because their parents couldn’t find a good match in the same community (the same parents who brag of not marrying their daughters outside caste and twitched their noses to my parents because they did!!!!!!)

I don’t know how things will change or simply enough do we Indians actually want it to change or are e happy being ignorant enough of this fact….the parents keep searching a girl for their son while the son stays in a live -in relationship with a foreigner and pretends to care to look at the regular photographs of Indian girls he receives in his email……he sometimes even selects a desi girl and gives a fake date toooo never to return to India..while the girl’ family bugles the deal they have got in getting an NRI damaad(son-in law)..

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All the incidents or instances mentioned above are true cases..no names or fake names have been incorporated in order to maintain the privacy of the concerned people.You’re welcome to add your thoughts in the comments and also share incidents that  you’re aware of.

What is ethic to you, me or them?


I remember vividly the subject Business Ethics we had in third semester and how proudly our course director announced- this is a relatively new subject and not even IIM-Ahmedabad has teachers or relevant books for it. I passed the discipline with a GPA of 9 courtesy all the search I did on internet to read theories related to ethical decision making. But even standing at that surprising GPA I bear no capability to define Ethics per se.

I read Indian news stories daily, I see global news daily, I use endorsed brand daily, I make an environmental related decision daily- and they are all related to ethics. My wordweb dictionary defines ethics as ‘A system of principles governing morality and acceptable conduct’. But who is to explain the context of acceptable. It’s a fancy word some philosopher used to veil his inability to measure anything that is pure right or wrong- anything that is pure black or white. It’s just a picayune excuse some genius picked up to write heaps of circumlocutious non meaning theories to hide the evil sides- the grey sides.

The topic of this post is -What is ethic: to you, me or them? When I see a poor kid in CRY print advertisement I resolve to adopt a child but never do it in reality…but when I do see a kid enjoying Baskin Robbins ice cream I nag my partner to go to parlour and take one bite. Am I ethical?

When I see my fellow friends being conscious and aware enough to dedicate a post on youth Unite about Bhookh and add a badge on their WordPress blogs…I aimlessly click on the feedthemouthxxxxxerrttsomethingsomething.com site in hope to feed the hungry……but when I don’t like the taste of a dish I vainly leave the whole dish go in trash cans with a certain arrogance. Am I ethical?

I see a movie daily- that’s my routine and a way to rewind after sitting in the comforts of my workstation and sipping endless mochachinno’s and tapping laptop glaring into the matte finished screen. I see the imaginative world of songs and dance routine- criticize them and then compare with better quality English movies safely ignorant of the situations in Somalia/Myanmar/China/India. Am I ethical?

I read about rising rates of rapes and take out my angst onto wordpress by writing a post. I read about deplorable conditions of elderly and take out my angst onto wordpress by writing another post. I read about Aarushi and her ill fated media tryst and take out my angst onto wordpress by writing yet another post. I sit conveniently in the calm comforts of my electrically heated bed and write about people I can’t help. I talk about rapes- but have I researched what’s actually happening to women in Gulf countries or Asia? I talk about elderly not doing a thing for my own mother who is alone in India. I talk about Aarushi and let some perverse people find a way to write their even more perverse ideas about horrible things and do not even attempt to moderate them in honor of Freedom of Expression. Am I ethical?

I see a larger than life Shahrukh talk superfluously claiming that how his son was upset when he couldn’t see a match and how he bought a whole cricket team for him to relish! Now you people – who treat him ahead of god can be kind enough to tell me a single just a meagre quote from this man about his daughter? Wait he has a daughter- oh yes he does…But does he ever talks about her? No…never. Way to go King Khan our Indian hero- you’re perfect ambassador to support Female Foeticide cases in Harayana or Punjab. Wait a minute- but you need to charge a crore for that..no you can’t do that..but shell out a few crores more and you can prance around in your underwear in a glitzy Page 3 private party. So why don’t we leave the ambassadorship of Polios and Female Foeticide to Aamir Khan and Mr. Bachchan and then malign them by blog-wars? Or why not smoke a cigarette in public and set an example to youngsters to take light (pun intended) and forget that others exist. So back to square one- Is he ethical?

A team in Olympics works hard and manages to win a bronze medal and we get to read about it in the sports section right under the major write up on Irfan Pathan’s love life all revealed on Orkut. A Police Officer stresses that Shruti was found in OBJECTIONABLE state totally unaware of even the poor girl’s name and dares to speaks this in front of hungry carnivorous reporters. An actor takes a cool cheque for two crores to endorse a cola brand and a physically challenged Pullela Gopichand declines few thousands to endorse a cola brand saying it’s not good for children’s health. The actor gains publicity and is seen on billboards and Pullela is lost in his own loop of same picayune excuse- Ethics. Is the actor/Police Officer/Reporter/Media ethical?

You take it from here my friend. Congratulations for coming so far till the end for this is a heavy dose post not a page 3 gossip or some perverse tips giving post. You must have felt something too or had a connection with my inner callings….still you will head straight out of this browser window and open Orkut/Facebook/MySpace/Gtalk/Yahoo/MSN/Skype and talk repeatedly- ‘Sup? Aur Batao? What’s new ‘; without even bothering to let your inner calling grow and make you aware or even write a line about it here assuring me I am not insane to write this. Here my friend the question is – ‘Are you Ethical?’ Think about it and if you know the answer then for my sanity’s sake drop a line or two.

Thanks!