A Stuck Friend Forever……….


Shantanu could have smiled at that moment but the dryness of his cracked lips didn’t stretch his blistered cheeks to a grin. He was hoping things will change. The done would become undone. He looked at the coffee mug and read -‘Friends Forever.’ He looked at the mug again and remembered the coffee chats on the same table and how she held the mug tightly to warm her cold hands. She was the closest he had ever been to zenith of happiness. He knew no worries and no hundreds and thousands of things that bothered him otherwise. With her he felt free, liberated and relaxed. He remembered her walking through the glass door every morning passing a smile that would melt his heart and made him believe in existence of angels. He thought about the numerous occasion when she would come to him and ask him to help him out with her silly problems. He remembered how she made an innocent face and hit her forehead slightly with her hand and said -‘Oho!’

Ritika was his reason of existence, so much so he breathed her. Ritika was his primal reason of any thing in his life. They giggled and giggled without realizing the reason of the giggles. Ritika had gone on a fifteen days break from work when she gave him the mug on her last day before her break began. She was going with her family to relax. Shantanu knew he would miss her and would feel incomplete but he knew he would confess her love for her when she will come back.

Fifteen days passed with great difficulties and Ritika came beaming brighter as ever. Shantanu could have cried with hapiness looking at her face but couldn’t as he wanted to be strong. Shantanu picked his mug and they headed to the cafeteria. Shantanu was about to tell Ritika about his feelings when Ritika announced -‘I am in love.’ Shantanu felt deaf for milliseconds. He smiled to hide his disbelief and kept looking at the same face which made him happiest and saddest at the very random moment. She kept talking and talking and he kept bringing himself back from the wild imagination he had sported in those fifteen days. He cursed at his unremitting status quo of friend!

Ritika logged off from her system early that evening and asked Shantanu to tell others that she had to leave early if in case anybody asked. She picked up her stuff- her big bag with things that even she didn’t knew was there inside and her umbrella and headed for the door. She came back in a frenzy and hugged Shantanu and said bye and faded into an oblivion that was hard to be phased out off.

Shantanu could have smiled at that moment but …………..

You Are In My Thoughts; I Am Not In Yours


You are in my thoughts;
I am not in yours
It pains a little
But I didn’t ask you
I didn’t ask you to do the same
I didn’t ask you to love me back
I didn’t ask you to miss me
I didn’t ask you to think
As You are in my thoughts;
I am not in yours
 It feels frustrating
But I didn’t ask you
I didn’t ask you to be mine
I didn’t ask you to write me sonnets
I didn’t ask you to dream me
I didn’t ask you to be part of me
As You are in my thoughts;
I am not in yours
It hurts too much
But I didn’t ask you
Wish I’d have really asked you
For if you ever feel the same pain too
Do not tell me how does it feels
As I will know it
As You are in my thoughts;
I am not in yours
 

But I know he doesn’t


Love blossomed and I knew it was meant to be,
He too knew this was what he ever wanted to be,
He says he knows me,
I know he doesn’t,
He says he can read my mind,
But I know he doesn’t
I know he doesn’t
 For if he knew- he would feel how much I love,
Its blooming like lillies with silent passion,
For if he knew- how it hurts me too,
Its paining me ever with silent torture
But I know he doesn’t
I know he doesn’t
He knows the song in my heart so is his claim,
Little he knows the pure hymns of his name,
He says he knows the dreamy dreams I see,
But not about the real life where there was he,
But I know he doesn’t
I know he doesn’t
 Now that I’ll be long gone I hope he reads this,
And know that its him that I am writing,
And if he now understands the signs,
Tell him I knew it -but,
I know he doesn’t
I know he doesn’t
~*~