I don’t know what to write?


I am getting this feeling to write about something. But I can’t think of any topic. Random thoughts are not bubbling today. Hmm possibly because of grave doses of testing I did few minutes back. We need to leave for a dinner tonight. I have not even decided what to wear, hair is still rumpled, nail-paint is cracked and my mind is annoyingly giving up to put things to order. I just want to laze around and enjoy the misty rain outside.

Some serious doses of poems have been written, some random thoughts are put to paper-but today the mind is simply failing. Its not flirting today. I am baffled. A rara avis- me not getting enough fluctuations in brain. May be it has gone on a short break away. Songs are on in the background but I have no clue which one is playing-they are just going on and on. Few downloads are on too but I have no clue what am I downloading.  Fingers are typing and I for a change have no clue what I am gonna write in the next line.

Hmmm may be Fruity deserves a break….what say readers?

Mind flirting with thoughts


I want so many things badly and the world is conspiring against me having them. It happens to me on a regular interval- this phase strikes me. A phase where I have bad mood swings, I do not feel anything positive around me and everything depresses me. I feel lonely in crowd. I get silent when everybody’s talking. I deal with my own escapades to a far world. The mind constantly thinks harder and the veins dilate till the cranium.

The talks sound like a background score and I have my talks going on in my mind. I am with my own self. I discuss my own thoughts- defend them and speak against them right there in my mind. The sonorous mind aches too but still the discussion keeps emerging stronger till I am perturbed by someone -‘hey what happened to you? why are you so quiet?‘.

I really do not know what to answer as I am already upset over the untimely abortion of new ideas. I smile and say- ‘nothing-I am fine‘. I long to go back to my flirting session but the real life objects keep pulling me back. They don’t let me escape to nurture my thoughts. They conspire together to kill them at the nascent stage. I retaliate and try to cocoon myself.

The mind flirts and keeps puking on paper-posts after posts. But I am not seeking any cure for it-I enjoy its puking. It lessens the burden of all flirted amalgamated idea off it. The load feels lighter and encourages me to go back to the real life objects.

If a 2 letter-big word(oxymoron intended)


Don’t you agree-IF is a strong word? 😉

We always say……………………….

 

  • What if she too loved me?
  • What if I had not said yes?
  • What if I had spent more time with my parents?
  • What if I had been more patient?
  • What if I was two minutes early?
  • What if I would have called up?
  • What if I would have taken more time out of work?
  • What if I would have stopped her?

And so many other ifs?? But when we ask ourselves these questions we don’t ponder over that we really aren’t left with any answer-why bother about questioning our mind now? But still the IF part keeps haunting back..it kills my brain and I go back to Q&A mode. I have so many ifs question too- I do regret too not doing and doing so many things!! If is a 2 letter big word (oxymoron intended). I sometimes silently wish if (see I have one more if here-phew poor me added one more to my Q&A bank) I could wipe this if and blank the IF folder in my memory.

Today too I’ll hit the sack with my bank of IF.

Hmmmmmm…..hey it has already started….

 

  • What if I had not posted that blog?
  • What if no one today also doesn’t posts any comments?
  • What if i should have…………………………………………………………………….

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz If zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

🙂

😉